


Dinner and a Show One-Offs

by embarrassingresultofmyfreetime



Series: And They Were Happy AU [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Happy Ending, Spydoc, Thoschei, Yaz has a crush on the Doctor, and after the events of The Timeless Children, and becomes O for real- in a way, ask and you shall receive I guess lol, basically au where the Master finds himself on his last life, he realizes that the Doctor will never have a reason to stop saving the Earth, he turns himself human and gives up his watch, im catagorizing this as a second part bc I hadn't planned to continue, it's all very emotionally devistating, rated T for hurting my emotions and some anxiety and near-death experiences, so in his last-ditch attempt at finding happiness, the Doctor gets a domestic life at long last, the doctor and O/the Master do the mind thing, the doctor is ace, the doctor is super strong, this is a continuation of p1 'Dinner and a Show', with this but I had so much fun I decided why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23423584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embarrassingresultofmyfreetime/pseuds/embarrassingresultofmyfreetime
Summary: "The Doctor did her best to space out her visits with O. For every couple adventures she had with her 'fam', she would stop by his home once or so. Sometimes she let months slip by, because she knew that the longer she waited, the less of O's limited time she used up.She felt guilty to calculate it, but if O was already in his mid-thirties and he lived a full human life...Suffice it to say, she wanted it to last for as long as possible. She had never had a situation as stable nor as safe as she now had with O. After everything they had both been through to get to this point, she refused to jeopardize a single moment.For all the pain the Master had caused her, O was well worth the wait."(By popular demand, a continuation of 'Dinner and a Show')
Relationships: The Doctor & The Master (Doctor Who), The Doctor/O, The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Series: And They Were Happy AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1684924
Comments: 31
Kudos: 103





	1. Unspoken Agreement

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of the fic 'Dinner and a Show' so you'll probably want to read that first in order for this to make sense. This 'second part' will consist of 3 short stories and then one longer story that ties parts of all 3 together. That's the plan anyways, for them to build on each other. You'll see what I mean.  
> I hope you like it X)

The Doctor did her best to space out her visits with O. For every couple adventures she had with her 'fam', she would stop by his home once or so. Sometimes she let months slip by, because she knew that the longer she waited, the less of O's limited time she used up.

  
She felt guilty to calculate it, but if O was already in his mid-thirties and he lived a full human life...

  
Suffice it to say, she wanted it to last for as long as possible. She had never had a situation as stable nor as safe as she now had with O. After everything they had both been through to get to this point, she refused to jeopardize a single moment.

  
For all the pain the Master had caused her, O was well worth the wait. He was still as clever as ever, but also thoughtful and funny. He reminded her of the boy who had first stolen her hearts all those many years ago.

  
When the Doctor was alone it was agony, but when she was with him, all that pain faded away.

  
To balance out her desire to spend time with him with the sadness it caused her, she found some kind of excuse every time she visited. Sometimes she would tell him that she HAD to clean out the Tardis's water systems and O would immediately welcome the flimsy excuse for her to spend the entire weekend 'stranded' at his place. Sometimes, when the Doctor had a particularly rough day, she would stop by just to watch evening tv together. And sometimes- every so often- they went into town. Of all their activities, that was the Doctor's favorite.

  
The Doctor had spent so many years believing she could never have a normal life and then- all of a sudden- she had one. Her sheer enthusiasm of it all never failed to make O smile.

  
On the days when her visits coincided with O's need for basic resources, he would drive them to the nearest town. While he shopped for essentials, the Doctor would spend HOURS looking through all the little things humans sold in shops with fascinated eyes.

  
The pair quickly realized that if they were to go into town, they would have to make a day of it; because while O could pick up computer equipment, a new shirt, and a few weeks worth of groceries before noon- the Doctor felt the need to go up and down every aisle of every shop they found. She especially liked stopping at little booths selling trinkets or meandering through the plethora of unique items at second hand stores. She was the poster child of 'curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back'.

  
Her favorite things to see were beautiful golden trimmed clocks, shining music boxes with visible cylinders, and yellowing books. She liked to tell O that they all told a story. Sometimes she would even make up some elaborate backstory for items she found based on the smallest of details- which more often than not, lead her to recount some nearly impossible escapade of hers.

  
O, truthfully, prefered practical items. If something didn't have a purpose, he didn't see much point in keeping it around. However, the Doctor brought a new light to the way he saw seemingly-trivial items.

  
Even if her words didn't convince him that something like a model motorbike made from metal scraps or a kinetic sculpture held value, he had inadvertently begun to assign items value depending on how much they made the Doctor smile. Her smile far outweighed the value of any Earthly item anyways and, the way O saw it, her happiness was the only value that mattered.

  
"O! Look what I found!" The Doctor sprinted up the street with what looked like a bunky slab of wood tucked under her arm.

  
"Thank the stars," O whispered under his breath. He had been on his way back to his jeep, a large bag of groceries in each hand as well as the last of the supplies he needed to fix his computer. Truth be told, a failed upgrade had set part of it on fire so he was collecting the last of the materials required to fix it.

  
The sun was beginning to set and he hadn't seen the Doctor in hours. He was beginning to wonder if he should go look for her when he heard her voice.

  
His mind faintly drifted back to one particular day when he had lost track of her completely while on a similar shopping trip. He reminisced on the memory as he waited for the Doctor to catch up.

  
He had waited for her at their agreed meeting spot. It was only when the sun began to set that he'd begun to think the worst. He had raced back through the darkening streets only to find her cheerfully making jewelry from cord and gemstones with an old woman at an outdoor café. She invited him to join them as he approached, blissfully unaware of any wrongdoing.

  
He and the Doctor hadn't made it back home until late that night, and O's frozen food had nearly spoiled in the added time; but he chalked it up to investing in some cooler bags and didn't let it weigh down the evening. The mild scare was a small price to pay to hear the Doctor's joyful description of her new skill.

  
She had gotten so caught up in the idea in fact, that O awoke the next day with a beautifully woven bracelet with a shining, purple-swirled gemstone at its center on the nightstand next to him. He still wore it sometimes- when the Doctor wasn't there. And only because he looked good in purple and NOT because he was sentimental.

  
But truth be told, he liked the physical reminder of such a fond memory.

  
The Doctor quickly caught her breath as she reached him. She benevolently took the heaviest bag from his hand and pulled it over her shoulder- as if it weighed nothing at all. She continued what she was saying,

  
"This top dial-" she pointed to the first of three large golden dials built into the wood, "tells the temperature-"

  
She moved her hand down to the middle disk, "-this one is a barometer, which measures atmospheric pressure, and you move this little dial so when it's above that level it won't rain, and if it's BELOW the dial it WILL rain- well, probably-"

  
She moved to the last one, "- and then this one, well, it just tells you the humidity but that could be good for something!  
"I was thinking it would look good under that clock by the door and then you could check the weather... although you COULD always check the weather on your phone. But where's the fun in that?!"

  
O chuckled and took the item from her offering hands. Functionality and style, all in one. It would definitely make a nice addition to his home, and it didn't hurt that it made him strangely warm inside to hear her refer to his home as if it was both of theirs.

  
Neither of them would ever admit to such a thing, but O assured her that his doors were always open to her. He had woken up at 4am to find her ruffling through his fridge on more than one occasion, so she certainly wasn't shy to the invite. Not to mention, the Doctor had convinced him to buy a purple couch the moment he expressed interest in cleaning up the place- so he was reasonably certain their unspoken agreement was mutually understood.

  
"I think that's a great idea," he grinned at the thought.

  
She resumed telling him about numerous other interesting things she had seen and kindhearted people she had talked to as they walked.

  
When they reached his jeep, O shuffled around the equipment in the back seat and trunk to ensure everything would fit.

  
He was thankful he hadn't given into the Doctor's suggestion that she drive them to town on her four wheeler- despite the way his heart raced at the very idea. He'd requested a raincheck on that one solely because he had far too much to buy. They wouldn't have been able to transport everything back on such a vehicle. He'd had to get some supplies for his computer this time around, which was an oddity that took up a lot more space than usual.

  
"Give us the keys or the girl-y gets it!" a determined and unfamiliar voice demanded from behind him.

  
O raised his hands- and eyebrows- as he slowly turned around. He'd been through enough MI6 training to stop the fear from paralyzing him, but he still wasn't thrilled at what he saw.

  
He recognized a face he had seen when purchasing some electronic equipment. The fool must've thought it was worth stealing and selling back for good money.

  
Normally, O would have passively allowed the thief to take whatever he desired. MI6 had left him with enough money to retire on and he could easily spare the quite annoying expense- but a second man was holding the Doctor hostage. The grocery bag she had been carrying for him was sloppily tossed aside, its contents spilled across the dry grass, and the man now had one arm wrapped around the Doctor's neck. His other hand pinned the Doctor's left arm behind her back and effectively had her restrained.

  
"Girl-y?" Both the Doctor and O mocked in unison.

  
"The disrespect!" The Doctor exclaimed, her voice tight from being pinned but as confident as ever, "No wonder you've been reduced to petty theft-"

  
"Shut it!" The man holding her barked, twisting her arm tighter.

  
She grunted from the pain as the first robber pulled a knife.

  
"I'm not messing around," he threatened O. He moved his knife closer, within inches of the Doctor's neck. O was occasionally a betting man, but not when it came to the Doctor's life.

  
"You can take what you want," O said, slowly pulling his keys from one of his pockets and tossing them to the ground, "but you know, it's really a shame."

  
"A shame?" The robber made the error of asking.

  
"Well, yeah," O mentioned nonchalantly, "if you would have taken me hostage instead... well, you MIGHT 've had half a chance."

  
At O's distraction, the Doctor freed her own arm and immediately reached for the one around her neck. With inhuman strength and a furious yell, she pulled down on her assaulter's arm. It immediately yielded the desired result as the man was tossed: over the Doctor's shoulder and through the air.

  
In his mad scramble, his legs took out his partner with the knife and both robbers crashed painfully to the ground, the air knocked out of them.

  
"Nice aim," O admired her handiwork.

  
The Doctor took a deep breath, stretched, and then brushed off her hands,  
"All in a day’s work."

  
"I would have taken the one with the knife," O pointed out.

  
"I know," the Doctor chuckled, making a beeline for the car. She took the liberty of fitting everything in place and shut the trunk.

  
Meanwhile, O gracefully picked up his keys. As he passed the two failed robbers, he whispered in a low, threatening hiss,  
"Do something like that again- to anyone- and I'll leave you with something a lot worse than broken bones."

  
The pair stared up at him, petrified, but a second later, O passed them by, unconcerned. He picked up his grocery bag, put its items back inside, and made a u-turn for the Doctor. He glanced inside the bag as he walked, not sparing the thieves a second thought.

  
"We might have to stop back at some point," O observed in his usual warm voice, "I think they broke the eggs."

  
On his way through, he mercilessly, surreptitiously, crushed the knife-wielder's hand under his heel for good measure. He waited until he felt a satisfying crack; an assurance that this man wouldn't be threatening anyone else anytime soon.

  
O then tossed his keys to the Doctor and made his way to the passenger side.

  
"I think you deserve it," he leaned against the frame to look at her.

  
The Doctor's eyes grew as wide as her smile.

  
"You said you'd never let me drive it!"

  
O nodded, a pleasant amusement growing in his voice, "I did. Because I know how you drive. However, if I drive, I think I'll run those two fools over at full force. It's the lesser of two evils really."

  
The Doctor chuckled at his dark humor, took the driver's seat, and quickly turned the key. O double-checked his seatbelt as the Doctor threw the vehicle in drive, and hit the gas at full force.

  
"Just remember- it's a rollover risk!" O exclaimed as they bolted off into the impending night sky.

  
He held tightly to the frame to steady himself, but he wasn't truly scared. He didn't think he could ever be scared with the Doctor at his side.


	2. The Lynchpin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fam finally meets the new 'O' (post- The Timeless Children)  
> It's a shame it's only as a last resort
> 
> (No blood or physical violence)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually try not to complicate dialogue but it felt wrong to write things without at least a bit of an accent.  
> So here's a key:  
> 'cos -> because  
> 'im -> him  
> 'is -> his  
> gon'e -> going to  
> an' -> and

"Get away from there!" The Doctor shouted.

The Doctor and her fam were exploring a long-abandoned cruiser in an asteroid-ridden part of deep space. A place no pilot with half a mind for self-preservation would dare fly through. Upon landing, it became clear that this ship's occupants had long since escaped after its hull had been breached. The Doctor had explained the most likely cause was that this ship was escaping a battle when it was compromised, and- over time- drifted out here to become one just another lump of metal crashing through space like an inelegant game of pool.

Nevertheless, the Doctor hoped to salvage some parts. It was adrift in space after all and if she could find a few rare parts for the Tardis that no one would miss, then it would all be worth it.

Her Tardis was- more often than not- fixed using whatever was easy and available to use. This meant that a time machine from the future was often repaired using 21st century tech- the equivalent to patching up a racecar with some superglue and duct tape.

This ship she had landed on was not- by any standards- the kind she liked to visit. It was cold and haunting. However, the fact that it appeared to be completely empty and was now drifting through an undisturbed asteroid belt meant that she could work undisturbed. If she was lucky, she could find more than enough materials that she wouldn't have to do this again anytime soon.

What she HADN'T factored in was that even on an abandoned drifter, some of the ship's automatic defenses were active despite the fact that the ship was certainly not.

The Doctor heard one of her worst fears come true before her mind could properly process the event.

Yaz called to the others, "Hey, come look at this!" upon finding a safe behind a painting in a nearby hall. Then came the sound of Ryan's steps, and then the soft 'click' of a mechanize releasing.

"Get away from there!" The Doctor called desperately, but the small band of humans hadn't been paying attention.

They had only seconds to punch in the passcode before the automatic system dubbed them intruders. Only seconds before-

"Move, move, move!" The Doctor ordered, barreling into Yaz and Ryan at full force and shoving them aside at the last second. She had been fast enough to get them out of the way, but not fast enough to avoid the repercussions of their actions. With a muffled click, time was up and the mechanism sprung, launching a tiny, pin-like projectile directly at her.

It stabbed cleanly into her shoulder and dug itself there. For a moment, the wound burned like fire, but it hadn't been as bad as she had expected. A moment later it was far worse.

The Doctor gritted her teeth as the tiny device took effect. Every muscle in her body clamped tightly in an instant and she collapsed under her own weight.

"Doctor? What is it?!" Yaz returned to her side just in time to catch her before she landed on the cold metal floor.

"There was a precautionary measure to keep anyone from breaking open the safe-" she said through a clenched jaw as the wave of electricity jolted through her.

A moment later it subsided and she tried to catch her breath. She already knew the pain would only get worse.

Ryan rushed to her other side and the two companions half-carried her back to the Tardis.

"It's... it's an electric pin," the Doctor explained, "you tripped it when the painting was moved. It-"

She tensed up again as another wave of electricity zapped through her. It felt like her blood was suddenly magma circulating through her body.

It paused again as they reached the Tardis doors.

"It's trying to kill me, and stop my heart. Thing is- I have two of those so it'll take twice as long," she attempted to chuckle to relieve her companions' fears.

It clearly wasn't helping.

She pulled away from them and caught onto the console. She set new coordinates as fast as possible.

"You need to get O. He'll know what to do-"

She pointed to Graham who was standing next to a lever she couldn't reach.

"Pull that! Quickly! I'm going to pass out any moment and then you'll be stranded here because I'll be dead! Do you want that?"

"This big one?" Graham asked.

"No! The one I usually pull! The one with the handle!!"

"Oh right," Graham realized. He pulled the lever and the Tardis engines started up.

The Doctor was abruptly consumed by overwhelming pain once more.

"One heart- gah! I hate only one heart working!" The Doctor exclaimed, looking over herself as if she would be able to see it somehow. She hit the left side of her chest, "One heart is just the worst. Never have only one heart if you can manage it. Makes my head all-"

"Doctor?" Yaz stepped up to her carefully, as if trying to gently break the news to her, "Doctor, O's not... he's not there anymore. Remember?"

The Doctor looked over Yaz, her insides burning her up. She didn't have time to explain. Not that she wanted to.

The Doctor carefully put a hand on either of Yaz's shoulders to steady herself as the Tardis rocked them about.

"He is. And you're going to get him. He'll know what to do."

Her voice suddenly livened up, "The alternative being, you'll have to find your own way home because this ship will lose its pilot," the Doctor explained sharply. Her voice suddenly switched to unequivocal, "Do you understand?"

The Doctor managed to hang onto consciousness long enough to see Yaz nod.

"Thank you, I'll see you later," the Doctor smiled with relief before collapsing completely.

In an instant, the Tardis stopped.

-

Yaz caught the Doctor's limp body and held her close.

"What do we do?" Graham asked, "The Doc must realize O isn't O anymore. He's just some old pal who played 'er."

"You think I don't know what?" Yaz snapped out of fear, her eyes already brimming with tears, "Last time we saw him, the Doctor was on a suicide mission to stop him! How can we just ask him to save her?"

They turned their heads at the sound of the Tardis door opening.

Ryan was looking out of it.

"At any rate, those coordinates must've worked 'cos I think that's 'is house there," Ryan pointed enthusiastically, "I'll go get 'im!"

"Ryan!" Graham and Yaz both shouted before he could run off. Ryan hesitated with his hand on the doorframe.

"Son, you can't just-"

"You want to HAND the Master the Doctor AND her Tardis?" Yaz questioned desperately.

Ryan's lips pressed together for a moment, but he quickly disregarded their warnings,

"I don't care. I'm not about to lose anyone else. If it keeps her alive then it's worth the risk."

-

Ryan sprinted from the Doctor's Tardis to... O's, or the Master's, or whoever's, hut or Tardis or other. He didn't care.

The only thing he did care about was not losing the Doctor. He knew that neither Yaz nor Graham could forgive themselves if they let the Doctor die saving them; and more specifically, Ryan was not about to attend another funeral.

One funeral was far too many for his liking and two was heartbreaking. He refused to let there be a third.

Maybe the Doctor's request for O had been wishful thinking, or maybe it was just another impossible thing he would see on his travels with her.

Either way, he wasn't going to stand by and do nothing.

"O! Are you here!" Ryan called as he leapt onto the porch and brust in through the unlocked door. He only slowed down once he was inside and desperately tried to catch his breath for the inevitable sprint back. His heart was pounding and his lungs burning, but he had more important things to focus on.

"Yes, hello. Although you're not the company I was expecting," O lowered the book he was reading,"Have we met?"

Ryan tilted his head at this question. Was pretending not to remember threatening to kill him another game? Or was it possible time travel meant O hadn't done it yet?

Ryan had bigger fish to fry.

"That doesn't matter, it's the Doctor! She's hurt!"

O's expression froze over. He leapt up from his seat and tossed the book aside on a nearby desk.

"What happened?"

Ryan took a deep breath.

"We were on this ship and Yaz moved this picture and a trap went off and it hit the Doctor with this electric needle thing and she was going on about one heart and said to get you and the others said not to trust you because time machine but ALSO I know you don't want her dead or you would have done it already so can you come save her because she said if you don't she'll die!"

Ryan doubled over for a deep breath after that novel of an explanation. It wasn't perfect, but time was definitely of the essence.

O quickly processed Ryan's words- or at least the ones that made sense- through his mind before agreeing.

"Where is she?"

-

A minute later, the pair of them had sprinted back to the Tardis. Its doors opened before they could even reach them and Ryan momentarily wondered how they could do that.

O raced directly to the Doctor's side.

"Electric needle?" O asked for clarification, his eyes focused. He disregarded everything else, even Yaz who was now sitting near the console with the Doctor in her arms.

"A pin, in her shoulder," Graham said, patting his own right shoulder to show where he had seen the injury hit.

O didn't say anything in exchange for his help. He simply examined the Doctor.

"Lay her down," he told Yaz.

Hesitantly, she set the Doctor's unconscious body onto the Tardis floor and backed away.

"Careful, it'll zap you if you get too close," Yaz explained.

O didn't acknowledge her either as he took a knee to the Doctor's right.

"There's an emergency kit," O pondered out loud, "down the first hall, second door on the... left? I believe? Get it."

Yaz took initiative and fetched it.

In the meantime, O searched for the pin. He felt as though he had seen this kind of injury somewhere before, but he couldn't pinpoint where.

"Annoying little things they are," O mused aloud to his mesmerized audience. "They bury themselves deep in their targets' skin. Half the battle is finding them- which is part of their ingenious design. Usually by the time they can be safely removed, their victim is long gone. The Doctor's only saving grace is her binary hearts, which have been enduring the injury longer than any human ever could."

He moved the edge of her coat out of the way and ran his hands over her shoulder before quickly finding the site of the injury.

He grinned with relief as he found it.

"Will you ever NOT be lucky?" He commented.

"Why? What is it?" Ryan asked the question on everyone's mind.

"Her poor fashion choices may have saved her life," O joked coldly.

Yaz returned with the first aid box and O opened it up. He took a small device with a powerful magnet from it and turned it on. He carefully used it to pull the pin up from where it was still partially buried in the Doctor's yellow bracers.

Once the small item was free, he looked at it- its energy still buzzing- and then disregarded it in a small container from the kit.

"There's your problem," he noted humorously before sliding the dish into his pocket.

"So she's going to be alright?" Yaz pleaded. She checked the Doctor's wrist for a pulse. She took a breath of relief before O raised both his fists over the Doctor's unmoving body. He laced his fingers together as if he held a knife between them.

"Whoah! What the-" Yaz began to interject, but she didn't have time to stop him before O slammed his joined hands down onto the Doctor's chest. Yaz was reasonably certain she heard something crack under the force.

She quickly grabbed O's arms and had one of them pinned behind his back when a soft noise escaped the Doctor's mouth.

A second later, her eyes snapped open and she woke up with a gasp for air.

"Yes! Excellent!" The Doctor exclaimed, looking down at her uninjured body, "I like my right heart. It's usually the left one that gives me trouble. What a morning! Never lost hope I'd pull through, eh?"

The Doctor grinned and looked over each of her companions. She carefully scanned them over to make sure nothing had happened to any of them while she had been out. She frowned momentarily as her eyes landed on Yaz, who had successfully restrained O.

Yaz let go under the Doctor's questioning gaze.

"Two hearts," O glanced over his shoulder to Yaz, "two pulses."

"Right. Makes sense." Yaz agreed. She did best to quell her rising embarrassment.

There was a long pause before Ryan suddenly tackled the Doctor. He nearly tripped over himself as he kneeled down on the elevated step to hug her.

"I'm glad you're alright," he said.

The Doctor's eyes widened in surprise but she didn't push him away. She simply reached one arm around him while her other hand remained against the floor to keep her steady.

"So am I!" The Doctor beamed, doing her best to smooth away any remaining tension.

With a deep breath of relief, Yaz joined in on the hug and nearly knocked the Doctor over in the process.

"We'll be more careful next time," she promised.

"I'm not missing out on this!" Graham kneeled down to join them.

The Doctor grinned widely, but it quickly fell away as her eyes drifted to O.

He was still kneeling at her side, ever so slightly out of her reach.

His soft lips had twisted into a gentle but forced smile. His deep brown eyes looked over her with something reassured and affectionate.

The Doctor's expression shifted into something serious and she raised her chin slightly in a nod of thanks.

O's smile grew into something achingly familiar as he let out a soft breath and looked away. His fake sympathetic smile shifted into something very real and very fond, even while he couldn't meet her gaze.

He didn't look back to her as he stood up and turned to the Tardis console.

The Doctor's eyes tracked his every movement, but all he did was take a small dish with the pin from his pocket and set it onto a small flat area on the console's surface.

The Doctor froze as she remembered that the watch was there. The memory of sealing it away crashed through her like ice. O couldn't see it through the opaque, amber-colored crystal, but the Doctor wondered if he could feel its presence. It was technically a part of him after all. She wondered if it would call to him and begged the universe that she would never have to stop him from opening it.

For one reason or another, O didn't seem to notice as he quickly turned away.

He headed, at a casual pace, for the Tardis doors. He spared the ship's interior a glance around, but didn't pause for long.

"Nice place, _ridiculous_ design," was the only comment he made before leaving.

The Doctor wanted him to stay. She wanted to thank him properly. But she could see that he didn't feel comfortable there: which was only to be expected.

The Doctor didn't allow O to travel with her, or even to see the Tardis interior. She had wanted to not only keep those two parts of her life separate, but keep any bad memories associated with her Tardis out of O's mind.

Not to mention, she hadn't told her fam about all this yet. It was only natural for humans to have a deep distrust for someone who had almost killed both them and everyone they loved. They probably wouldn't be human if they didn't.

Still, the Doctor's didn't yet have an explanation prepared because this was unprecedented territory. Thousands of years, dozens of lifetimes, and there were still new and terrifying things under the sun. She didn't know how she could articulate that O was different than the identical person who had betrayed them even, while everything about him remained essentially the same.

By all logic, they _shouldn't_ trust him- yet the Doctor honestly believed O was a good person. The two seperate parts of her life had met once again; and, once again, she was going to have to find a way to explain it.

Her companions pulled away. They glanced to each other before, surprisingly, Ryan beat Yaz to the punch, "You know we have to ask. Why did you want us to bring you to O? And why did he act like he didn't know who I was?"

"Yeah," Yaz added, "and how did you know you could trust him like that? Isn't he your old enemy? Last time we saw him, you were on a suicide mission to kill him! Why isn't he still mad about that?"

"'N how did he know where you keep the medical supplies?" Graham tacked on, "He sounded like he'd never seen the Tardis before."

The Doctor pulled herself up to her feet. Her shoulder still ached a little, but it was MUCH better than the searing pain she had experienced. She felt nearly back to full strength already.

The Doctor pretended to do something very important with the Tardis controls for a long minute as she pondered how to possibly explain O.

'The fob watch'- no, they didn't know about that bit.

'Well the Master escaped and because he only had so many regenerations'- no... that wouldn't help. Then they would have to ask about the Doctor's own regenerations and that was still something of a sensitive subject.

"O is the Master but he's also not the Master," she settled for the contradiction, "He cheated death by becoming human and took on the identity of O- who also isn't really O either because the original O is dead-"

'Oh stars this isn't working at all,' she scolded herself.

"It's very complicated," the Doctor explained, her mind deep in thought as she flipped several unnecessary switches on the Tardis console. They didn't actually do anything, but her fam couldn't know that.

"O doesn't know who any of you are- well, other than what I've told him about you- because that bit with the Kasaavin sort of... got... erased? When-"

The Doctor was becoming exponentially more frustrated by the second,

"When he changed himself. He... was in a lot of pain..."

It almost hurt to say- and it certainly hurt to admit- but it was the truth and she pressed on through it.

"He's not a timelord anymore, he doesn't know he ever was one. He only has the memories of his life when the Master was masquerading as O. The Master wove it all back together. He's essentially the O we first met when all this Kasaavin business went down except he's... genuine."

The Doctor's hand paused over the part of the console which contained the watch. It calmed her to know it was there.

The explanation would have to do because as brilliant as she knew her fam was, they could never understand the kind of pain this brought to her hearts.

Someone who understood you- however broken he had been- was the kind of thing you only got once. To get a second chance at it... the Doctor felt very lucky.

O was like this because of the truth the Master had found in the Matrix. He had discovered that the Doctor would live on forever without him- and decided that separating his mind was the only thing he could do to keep them from an eternity appart.

O was who the Master became to survive the unbearable agony haunting every moment of his existence. To be able to live in peace without all the death he had caused, without all the trauma from the timelords and the war, and without the Doctor's immortality looming over him.

More than that, O was so familiar. He was nearly identical to the Master she'd known back before the Time War, before they'd learned of Earth, before they'd ever donned the names Doctor and Master. O was funny and cautiously adventurous and absolutely brilliant. The Doctor would defend that with all her lives to come, and she would NOT let the world break him a second time.

A soft chirp from the Tardis brought her back to reality.

"He's the Master but he doesn't know it?" Yaz asked.

"He's the Master except his mind is his own," the Doctor corrected.

"An' I take it you're not gon'e tell him," Graham added, "about who he was and all the horrible things he's done."

The Doctor turned to him, a serious expression masking her pain.

"No. I'm not. He's..." her mind drifted once more to the watch, "... at peace. And now that he is, he can't hurt anyone and to keep it that way, he can never know the truth."

"Without his memories, he's not really the Master then. So he's safe, yeah?" Ryan reasoned.

The Doctor swallowed, her mouth suddenly very dry,

"He's... the person he was before the world broke him. And before he felt he wasn't strong enough to fight back against it and embraced the death around him."

There was a long quiet pause.

The Doctor pulled the lever and the Tardis started up again.

"Back when you were friends?" Yaz finally asked.

The Doctor's eyes stayed locked on her ship as she answered.

"We've always been friends. It's just hard for us to remember sometimes."

The ship rematerialized back in 21st century England.

The Doctor dove through her friends and led the way to the front doors.

"Here we are! Back home! Just a hop, skip, and a jump away. If you wouldn't mind, I'm going to go sleep for a week," the Doctor seamlessly switched gears back to cheerful.

Her friends strayed after her, but they hesitated to leave.

"Just be careful, Doc," Graham said gently.

"Without you three to set off traps on abandoned cruisers I'm sure I'll manage," she assured him with a goofy smile.

"That's not what I meant. We know how much it hurt you when O betrayed you the first time. Just, keep your head up."

The Doctor pressed her lips together but gave him an understanding nod.

Graham stepped off the Tardis and headed for home.

"Same 'ere," Yaz spared her an extra hug.

The Doctor was taken aback by the gesture. All this hugging was a very new development and she wasn't sure how to feel about it yet. It only lasted a few seconds.

"You're brilliant and I know you know what you're doing- but all the same, be careful."

Yaz left her one more smile and then headed home as well.

Only Ryan was left, and the Doctor was surprised when he hesitated. He clearly had something to say, so the Doctor stood patiently across from him and waited for him to find the words.

"Doc, you almost died. An' I know we do dangerous things all the time but today... you saved our lives."

The Doctor pushed her hands into her pockets and listened intently, trying to understand the expression on his face. He looked hesitant and yet decisive.

"I want to say thank you, and- that- I'm glad O is out there to watch your back. The others... they almost didn't want me to get him. They thought O or the Master or whoever would kill you and take your Tardis, but... I think if I hadn't fetched him you'd be dead."

He paused as the heavy words lingered in the air,

"Not that I'm taking the credit or anything-" he quickly scrambled to explain,

"But HE SAVED your life. And... I know he did terrible things- some of them anyways- I was there. But... you're right. He's different now. When I told him you were hurt he dropped everything to help. He saved your life, he was so... calm."

He paused, not knowing the right words to say, "I... I don't know. What I'm saying is that even though the others don't trust him; he saved your life. He's just another impossible thing like all the other impossibilities we've seen with you. And... that's good enough for me."

The Doctor nodded, her eyes focused on something distant but her words warm all the same.

"The whole thing was a simple mistake. You couldn't have known about the trap," she assured him, "but... thank you for trusting me. And for trusting O. It's not right that what he did when he was the Master: to humanity, to our home. It's easy to say that he doesn't deserve a happy ending- I can't argue that he does- but after everything, he chose to change. He's been through a lot, we both have- and he's all I have left."

"As long as I don't have to attend any more funerals, I'll take it," Ryan joked with a heavy heart.

"I'm sorry for the scare," the Doctor shifted uneasily, "would you still like to come back next week?"

Ryan smiled, "Yeah. Someone's gotta be around to listen to you."

The Doctor smiled, "Next week is it."

With Ryan's exit, she closed the Tardis doors.

She understood their warriness, really she did. She understood that the Master's actions were absolutely inexcusable. She knew they were. But so were so many of her own actions. She had seen so many people die throughout her lives and she'd even played a role in some of them. The Master had understood that kind of pain. The only difference between the Master and the Doctor was that he embraced the pain death brought while she ran from it.

The Doctor set her coordinates once more to Australia, but she didn't see O. She just layed down in a sideroom of her Tardis and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hugs!!  
> I've been waiting to write in some hugs!  
> Anyways, for this au I think that even with the whole idea of the Doctor being 'The Timeless Child', she can still be killed if she's injured before she can fully heal herself- same as always. So this was indeed very dangerous for her.  
> I DID make up this idea of this device, but I don't doubt for a MOMENT that the Doctor would put herself in harm's way for her human friends. she got some 10th doctor vibes here lol
> 
> Also if anyone was curious about the title:  
> A lynchpin can be used to mean someone important in keeping everything together, so it's a bit of a play on words. With the Doctor being the lynchpin. And then the injury. Sorry sorry I thought of the title post facto and thought was amusing.  
>   
> THANK YOU so much for reading! Please kudos and/or comment if you enjoyed this or any other part of this series! I believe the latest update to ao3 means that I can't see hits from people who are not signed in so it would mean a lot to me if you could let me know that you liked my work!! Thanks again :)


	3. Think About Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> O has never been one to pry into the Doctor's life. There's always a sad, distant glint in her eyes that lets him know what issues not to press. However, there's one question he desperately needs answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've probably listened to 'Think About Me' by the Goo Goo Dolls no less than... 578 times? while writing this. lol  
> The lyrics and the vibe just work really well so yeah, it’s the title now.
> 
> Please remember to bookmark and/or kudos if you're interested in more of this series!

"Why won't you take me with you?"

O's question felt like a knife of ice to the Doctor's chest.

It was a question she'd never had to answer before. Usually, she would be thrilled to invite someone new along on her adventures. But the question was as unique as their situation.

The Doctor was hanging out at O's place for the weekend when it had been asked. Her fam had called her out on jumping from their last endeavors to the next without a proper break, so she had submitted to their protests and elected to actually experience a weekend in real time.

She rarely enjoyed lazy weekends. Too much time alone allowed for far upsetting thoughts to resurface. She had to keep moving or else, she feared, she might drown in them.

Thankfully, lazy Saturday afternoons weren't nearly as agonizing when she had someone to enjoy it with.

As it turns out, being the world's "Horizon Watcher" wasn't an incredibly time consuming job. O cheerfully tossed aside the book he had planned to read the moment the Doctor welcomed herself in and they'd been up to all sorts of ridiculous mischief ever since.

So far they had found out- among other things- that no one should ever try to climb the large tree near his house because of the terrifying spiders who loved there, the Doctor knew how to rig O's television to get free cable channels, the dirt near O's house didn't taste as good as New Zealand's (according to the Doctor), and the Doctor had absolutely no idea how to cook anything edible.

O suspected that last one was because if the Doctor could eat soil, there was no telling if she even understood what 'edible' actually meant.

They had eaten dinner- a meal singlehandedly saved by O's surprisingly excellent cooking ability- and then settled in front of the tv to mock a terrible show that neither of them liked until late into the night.

They had been through several episodes- and enough terrible jokes to make O tear up from laughter- while laying on O's humorously mismatched deep purple couch.

The Doctor would have assumed he was asleep from the way his head was settled on her shoulder, his body comfortably pinned between the back of the couch and the Doctor's left side.

It was only then that O proposed the question.

A question that escaped his lips in little more than a whisper, but with such a soft, desperate tone that it made the Doctor wonder just how long he had been waiting to ask it.

"What I do is dangerous." The Doctor replied as casually as she could manage, "I can't put you through that."

She knew it wasn't a good answer, but it was true nonetheless.

The Doctor and O got along like a house on fire. If hanging out at his home was this fun, she could only imagine all the fun they could have across so many different times and galaxies. All the amazing things she knew he would love to see and that she would love to show him. But she couldn't for more reasons than she was willing to admit.

'Because I have your watch in the Tardis,' she could say, but she didn't.

'Because I've already been responsible for too many deaths.'

'Because I'm tired of watching people I love die.'

'Because someone could recognize you as the Master.'

'Because you could remember something you shouldn't.'

The Doctor didn't say any of those things, nor did she dare to linger on them for more than a moment.

"You bring other people with you all the time," he replied, briefly lifting his head.

The Doctor's eyes stayed fixed on the screen, but they weren't actually focused on its display. Her mind was elsewhere, trying to avoid the question because all its answers were agonizing beyond words.

"I probably shouldn't," the Doctor replied flatly.

"But you do," he stated. Not as an accusation, simply an observation that helped his case. "Why not me? You clearly need someone to watch your back, and you've told me enough about yourself that I can help. I've already had to save your life once. I'm worried you might not get so lucky again."

The Doctor sighed, and turned to where his head layed comfortably on her collarbone.

She kissed the top of his head so gently she doubted he would even notice.

"I... I can't lose you," she told him. Her voice remained unwavering.

"I think I could survive a trip," O chuckled, "I am something of a secret agent after all."

"No," the Doctor stated as if it was a fact. "I'm not taking that risk. Not with you. You'll see it all once- and you'll want more. You'll get tangled up with something you shouldn't and it will break you. I'm not going to let that happen."

'Not again,' she stopped herself from adding.

O could feel the Doctor's hearts quicken, her breaths leaving her a little sharper than before.

"Alright," he digressed. "I understand. I'm sorry I brought it up."

"You're the only-"

'one I have left,' but the words didn't leave her lips in time. Her throat closed up and refused to let her.

"Doctor, it's okay. I'm perfectly happy right here."

His arms tightened reassuringly around her.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

The Doctor didn't speak for a few moments so he moved away and sat on the floor instead, with his back to the couch to give the Doctor some form of privacy. He leaned his head on a single raised knee and turned his attention to the television as if the interaction had never taken place.

The Doctor tried to think of what to say.

"You're-... Here is... constant." She attempted to explain her decisive stance on the matter. "I've taken people with me and they... don't always come back. I can't imagine not having you here."

O leaned one arm against the couch and looked up at her with deep, glistening eyes. Ones pleading for a single truth among all the half-truths the Doctor often gave him.

"Why am I different?" He asked.

She wanted to tell him.

She wanted to tell him that he was the only kid who played with her as a child- and that his kindness would be forever imprinted on her hearts. That he was the only other person who had lost people he'd loved in the Time War and lived long enough to wish he'd died alongside them. That she had always secretly appreciated the elaborate games he devised for the two of them to play on Earth, to keep their minds sharp.

He had both caused and waded through bloodbaths for the chance she would turn her head his way. He had deliberately set up the optimal scenario- with the means, motive, and opportunity- to be killed by her hand.

Was that still him? Buried somewhere deep inside? She wasn't sure anymore, but she wasn't willing to find out. If she took him with her, she wondered how much it would take to break him open. With enough pressure, she wondered if the same mind in a similar situation would yield the same results. If he would become the Master all over again simply because it was who he became under the weight of unimaginable pain and loss....

She refused to find out.

But the way he was looking at her... those ancient eyes and the way he moved... it could only be him. She had no doubt about that.

She knew what that look was. He wanted her to admit what they both already knew. To say it out loud, get it in writing if he could. A confession that he had succeeded in his greatest triumph, gaining her affection and- most invaluably- her respect.

Why did he always feel the need to make her admit it? Words were nothing but a candle to their countless battles, which both tore down the world around them and ignited their hearts ablaze like a raging wildfire.

There weren't words to perfectly encapsulate what they had. No amount of 'I love you' or 'I hate you' could suffice.

Couldn't he recognize that she cared for him to a fault? He had obliterated their homeworld and everyone they had ever known growing up- committed the worst possible act there's ever been a word for- all to give her the truth. 

A truth which had broken down his very identity and for which the only solution he saw was to level the playing field for good.

That couldn't be love... and that couldn't be hate.

And there he was, oblivious to it all, asking her to put words to something that was so much bigger than themselves.

She... didn't know what to say.

The Doctor got up and pretended to busy herself by shuffling through O's newly-renovated kitchen for something to eat, despite the still-warm bowl of popcorn at the foot of the couch. Anything to save her from having to look at him. Anything to hide the way it all tore her up inside.

'Why am I different?' The question echoed through in her mind.

Why? Because he was good to her. There had never been any doubt that the Master would kill for her, but to CHOOSE to be kind for her? This was a whole new level of their relationship that she had never imagined could happen and- now- could never imagine giving up.

He had killed everyone who had taken advantage of her and given her a real freedom. And when she refused to kill him, he found something better. A way to give himself a new kind of freedom- safe from everything that was done to him against his will.

They were truly, honestly, the only ones left. And they were really, absolutely, free. They could do anything they wanted.

What did he choose to do with it? He remained right there with her, same as always. Free of their past and still asking her to love him, even after everything he'd done, even after promising that he didn't expect her to. Even after giving up all hope that she ever would.

He always was dense.

Of course she did. Of course she loved him. She had always loved him and probably always would- even when he made her want to slam his head into the nearest wall.

It was just in her own complicated, unexplainable, way.

"You're different because you think like me, in all the best ways," she finally said, shutting the door of the fridge she had apparently been staring into.

"No one else does that. No one else is like you. And I, very very simply, can not lose you. Not like that. I couldn't handle it."

When her eyes finally drifted up to meet his, he was blushing. The tops of his ears were burning and he was doing his best to hide the childish smile stretching across his face as he approached her.

"Is that all?" He joked, his voice lighthearted and almost, _almost_ mocking.

One of his hands ran over his face, a weak attempt to quell his grin. The Doctor's own ears started to burn as she realized the depth of her own words. She went back to pretending to be occupied by the contents of his fridge.

"Shut up," she retorted.

"And here I thought it might be my charming good looks!" O confidently strolled through the open room aimlessly. He even gave a dramatic spin, "Or my dark sense of humor. Or even my impeccable cooking skills. No, all along it was my clever mind," he sang.

"I have been played for a fool," the Doctor ran one hand over her own face, slowly and with sarcastic disappointment.

Okay, maybe she did have a lot of deep dark emotions, but she really needed to remember that O liked to humor her rather than torture her.

"Why, Doctor!" he continued to tease, "Don't say that! You would then, by extension, be calling ME a fool! As I am your intellectual equal!

And with that said: candidly- I'm appalled! It takes a lot of work making a paycheck by checking an alien warning system twice a day! Not to mention the _paperwork_!"

The Doctor began to laugh at his performance.

O was now dancing about, his smooth, deliberate movements in time with his lyrical voice. A deep humor laced every word and zealous action. His energy had flipped on like a switch; as if now that his burning question had finally been satisfyingly answered, he had the overwhelming need to share his cheerfulness with the Doctor.

"Actually, it _is_ quite a bit of work!" He recalled, "Do you realize that your Tardis interferes with my readings?"

O grinned widely and leaned over the kitchen table with great amusement.

The Doctor began to laugh even harder. She tossed her head back and let out a bright outburst of laughter.

"I've never thought about that!"

"Well, you should!" O exclaimed, "I had to build a whole separate system just to filter out the signal so MI6 wouldn't realize how much you visit!"

The Doctor continued to laugh and it caused O to crack. He began to chuckle through his own words,

"I'm dead serious! I had to both invent, and then add on, my own filters to the equipment so MI6 wouldn't try to use your Tardis's energy output as a renewable resource!"

"You're kidding!" the Doctor laughed.

"No! It took me four trips to town and back to get everything I needed!"

The idea of O grumpily retrieving equipment sent the Doctor into a full fit of laughter.

"One of the dishes on the roof isn't even for internet," O added, "it's specifically to tune out the energy output from your Tardis making jumps! I had to add it because I had MI6 agents knocking on my door to make sure a freak nuclear bomb didn't go off and kill me after the energy readings spiked off the charts! Have you ever TRIED to explain something like that to the GOVERNMENT at THREE AM?!"

The Doctor laughed so hard tears swelled up in her eyes.

"They knocked on your door at three am?"

"Yes! I was in pyjama bottoms and NOTHING ELSE."

The Doctor had to grab onto the counter just to keep herself from collapsing with laughter.

"How did THAT go over?"

"N... Not well!" O tossed his arms through the air in exasperation at the memory.

The Doctor burst out laughing all over again and slid down against the counter, clutching her sides.

"I- I should take the Tardis- back to that time- just to watch it go down-" she threatened between breaths.

"Don't you DARE," he threatened jokingly, "it was NOT as funny as it sounds! I had to tell them it was just an error with the equipment and they were NOT HAPPY with me."

"I didn't realize I was so much trouble!" The Doctor egged him on.

"The real trouble was trying to get the dish on the roof all by myself! That alone took nearly a whole day!"

The Doctor had nearly laughed herself to exhaustion but the idea of O trying to haul something like that onto his roof made her collapse with laughter all over again.

Even O laughed at the memory.

"I must've looked _ridiculous_ ," he reminisced, "But thankfully I don't think anyone saw."

"What a relief," the Doctor quipped.

Her mind suddenly snapped back to the previous topic. How could her Tardis have set off the alarm at such an hour?

"I wonder if that was the night I stopped in to eat your leftovers," she connected the timeline. "I think my Tardis got the time wrong and I didn't want to wake you so I took it and left."

"I had MI6 nearly break down my door because you stopped in to STEAL MY FOOD?!" O exclaimed.

He sat down next to her, awestruck at the very idea.

The Doctor chuckled at his expression until it physically hurt to laugh any more.

"What time is it?" She eventually asked.

"Late enough," O said, resting his head in his hand.

The Doctor nodded.

"I'll go to my Tardis. No reason to take up your couch again."

"It's not like anyone's using it," he shrugged, "But if you don't want the couch, you can just sleep in my bed. You've already slept on the couch for two days. What kind of host would I be not to offer," O said, clearly with no forethought.

"Just to clarify-" the Doctor began.

"I would then sleep on the couch. I thought that was implied," he rolled his eyes without a hint of embarrassment, "Really, Doctor."

"-For clarity because I can't have you sleeping on that couch again. You own a full-size bed anyways."

"What do you have against the couch? It's a bit small to sleep on but it's not that bad," O noted.

The Doctor chuckled, "Nothing. It's just that you're already such a grumpy morning person I'd hate to add to it."

O nodded, "You got me there. I take it you heard me snooze my alarm no less than 4 times this morning," he let out a sharp breath.

There was a brief pause.

"Fine- but I like the left side, that's non-negotiable."

"Left when you look at it from the door?" The Doctor confirmed.

"No, left when you stand on the headboard," he retorted sarcastically.

"Oh, so you're a grumpy latenight person too," the Doctor elbowed him before standing up.

"And you're a regular late night comedian," he joked right back.

No awkwardness, no tension, just a good laugh. Things really were easier with O.

The Doctor showed herself to O's room as confidently if it were her own. She took off her shoes, tossed her suspenders along with them, and leapt onto O's bed without hesitation. She had slept there before with O's blessing, but only by herself. Still, it was a definite step up from the couch and- for whatever reason- was certainly comfier than her Tardis beds.

There was something different about one all covered in blankets and gently worn, unlike the stiff cold sheets in her Tardis.

She took the right side and O tossed her an extra blanket, a big soft quilt.

He then left for the bathroom to brush his teeth and change his clothes. He returned in a t-shirt and pyjama bottoms. He sat down on the left side of the bed and rolled himself up in his own blanket so the Doctor couldn't steal it in the middle of the night.

The Doctor smiled. It reminded her ever so faintly of when they were kids and the memory brought with it an air of safety. She rather liked not being alone to the mercy of her own mind.

"Doctor?" O asked through the dark without turning to face her.

"Yeah?" The Doctor asked, content and already half-asleep.

His words drifted through the cool air in a thoughtful hum.

"Just... this is going to sound stupid but... don't... forget me."

The words shot through the Doctor's hearts, freezing her in place. Those words... the same as in the Master's last message.

"When you're out there," O continued to mused, "with your friends, among the stars, visiting all those amazing worlds. Don't forget that I'm here. Because... I would go with you if you asked."

His words were met with silence for a long minute.

The Doctor shook her head and attempted to push away the haunting feeling that accompanied them. For a brief moment, she found herself reliving that moment. The terrified, tearful look in the Master's eyes burned into hers.

Minutes must've went by before, finally, she slid out of the bed.

She felt the warmth of the blanket escape her and then the cold touch of the floor meet her feet as she paced around it. O sat up in surprise as she approached his side.

The Doctor reached out her hands and gently hooked her palms under either side of O's jaw.

O felt unable to do anything other than stare up at her with wide, awestruck eyes.

He couldn't begin to comprehend why she looked so... hurt.

"I could never forget you, you fool. Why would you say that?! How could you _ever_ _THINK_ that?!"

Maybe her words were slipping out because it was late, but maybe it was because she had been wondering how the Master could have ever said that to her. How he could think so little of himself after everything they had been through together. All that talk of breaking her and dragging her down to his level, and now she found that he was lower than she could have possibly imagined.

Forget? She could never forget someone like him. He might have hated that she was a part of him, but he was even more so a part of her. The Master shaped who the Doctor became, and he has been doing it ever since they had met. She didn't know who she would be without him either.

O took one of her hands and turned his face into it. His eyes closed at the soft touch. The Doctor's psychic abilities picked up something from the contact. Something lost.... Confused...? Yet... hopeful.

O let go too quickly for a proper link and the Doctor didn't want to pry. He looked almost embarrassed by both the action and his words.

He shook his head as if it would somehow clear his thoughts.

"You remember things from hundreds of years ago. I'm sure your memory is far better than mine. I don't know why I brought it up."

He turned away but the Doctor tilted his head up, her eyes staring deeply into his.

"Don't sell yourself short!" She explained with somewhat aggressive-sounding support.

"You're brilliant! You're so, so brilliant! You really are! You're Earth's first line of defense and you run it all on your own! Filtering out my Tardis's energy output? Using 21st century technology?! I'd have never thought of that! You're witty and understanding and thoughtful and the _only_ constant thing I've had in lifetimes!

The truth is: I want you to come with me, but I _can't_ bring you. I _can't_ be what gets you killed!"

She bit her tongue the moment the words escaped her.

O's glassy eyes looked over her in the dim light.

The Doctor was thankful for the darkness. Thankful that he probably couldn't see the tears threatening her own eyes.

The Doctor was barely paying attention as O's hands settled on either side of her own face. They just barely touched her, as if waiting for permission before doing anything more.

The Doctor gave into the touch and leaned closer until her forehead settled against his. The thrill of it was nearly overwhelming, but she could do one better.

Maybe she couldn't say how she felt because it was unexplainable, but unexplainable emotions were still emotions and thus could be felt like any other.

She bridged the gap between their minds and found O on the other side of the well-worn pathway, seamlessly smoothed out by decades of experience. For just a moment, she allowed him to feel the true extent of her affection.

She let him feel the pure joy she felt at his jokes, the incredible safety she felt when she was with him, even the devastating fear of losing him. There was so much more. So many more feelings she could never say; but a dip in the ocean would be more than enough for him to see that forgetting him was impossible.

She was surprised to find her feelings exchanged for emotions she could have never thought possible.

There was a feeling of confusion- as if O felt like an imposter who could never be the person the Doctor saw him as. There was a dark humor clouding the depth of his missing identity. And yet, through all of that, was a peace that he found in Doctor's smile. Something so simple, and it dominated his entire world.

She didn't know what to make of it, but she dared not intrude too far. At the very least, maybe this would help.

A moment later, she pulled away. O's fingers caught onto her sleeves before she could leave him.

"What was that?" He asked, his eyes wide and his hands shaking.

"It's... how much I care about you," the Doctor replied nonchalantly, "some of it anyways."

O leapt up from the bed and engulfed her in a hug. His arms held her close and his shaking fingers locked into her clothes.

He stayed there for a good several seconds, looking for the right words.

"Thank you," he finally settled when he realized there were no perfect words to be found.

"Don't tell anyone," the Doctor humored, one of her hands on his back and the other gently tousling his hair, "someone might get jealous."

He let out a broken breath and eventually tore away. He sat back on the bed, dumbfounded.

"Don't read into it too much," the Doctor added, trying to pretend that it was nothing.

She quickly returned to her own side of the bed and cocooned herself in the blanket O had given her.

She probably shouldn't have done that. Actually, she was quite confident she _definitely_ should not have done that. But it was the truth and, hopefully, a satisfying answer to his question.

"I love you too," O whispered flippantly. Despite his lighthearted tone, the Doctor could hear a deep, genuine relief at being able to say it.

She had been right. I love you wasn’t enough to describe it all. However, she was surprised to find that it was a pretty good start.

"Go to sleep," the Doctor retorted through a smile.

She heard O hum contently before the two of them mutually let go of the topic and did just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember to bookmark if you're interested in more of this series! Also please kudos and comment if you enjoyed it!! Ao3's latest update means that reads from people who are not logged in aren't counted and I'd really really appreciate any feedback and/or support you have to give! :)
> 
> Commentary (just bc):  
> I've probably edited this work more than any other I've ever posted and idek why lol. It was originally half as long as it currently is but I not at all satisfied with the way it read back so -> editing. Thankfully, I really like the way it turned out. Writing O's Master-isms showing though was an absolute pleasure lol

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> This first bit was mostly about establishing their dynamic and it was heartwarming to write. I hope to have more of this 'series' posted within the next week so please bookmark if you're interested! Have a wonderful day :)
> 
> Other less important commentary:  
> I'm genuinely nervous about expanding on this idea because I've never attempted to do something like this before. However, I've learned a lot from previous fics and I've planned out a structure for my vision of this au so I'm really excited to share it!
> 
> To the people who have read, kudos, and especially commented on any of my works so far, I can not thank you enough! All your kind words have done wonders to help my confidence and I only hope I can keep creating wonderful content for you to enjoy! Your support really means the world to me.  
> Keep yourself safe, everyone!  
> -  
> Edit: I'm marking this work as complete but you can read more of this series under the -> at the end. It's just easier to organize that way.


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